There are days I get up and feel pretty damn good, today is not one of them. I am shaking so freaking bad that I feel like I could be making James Bond a martini.
The frustrating part is that, while my body is wanting to screw with me, my brain is running at full speed. When I have days like this it is difficult to articulate verbally what I wish to convey. I can hear and see the words in my mind’s eye, but they simply do not want to come out verbally. I stammer and stutter horribly, and sound like George VI, or some drunken sailor that has had too much Jose.
Right now I am trying to get through writing this, but the typos are hilarious. My hands are moving where ever the hell they want, and some of the words are rather goofy. Thank God for the little red lines of spell check.
My own research, via Mayo, Hopkins, and other reputable medical sites are more and more leading me to one conclusion regarding my condition, and it is not pretty. I won’t hypothesis here as to what I think is wrong with me, not being a medical “professional” and all.
One of the frustrations that I have is that I am at the mercy of a medical system that takes weeks or months to get anything done. I can call to see my neurologist or regular doctor, and get told that it will be weeks before I can see anyone. The real waste of time and money to the system is the ever popular answer, “Go to the emergency room.”
A trip to the ER is basically 9-10 hours wasted. They are not set up to handle the type of neurological problems I have, and simply refer me back to my other doctors. It is a vicious and frightening circle, one that will lead, not just for me but for the thousands of others that rely on the “public healthcare option,” to a very negative and perhaps tragic result.
Since I am shaking and bouncing like some child’s rag doll, I am going to close here. Perhaps someday I will actually know what the hell is wrong.