There are times when I feel like the “gay male friend” of some women. Not that I have ANY fashion sense, or the desire to spoon with some other fellow, it’s just that I often am asked by my female friends, “Why are men such dogs?” Perhaps I’m asked this question because I’m seen as “safe” (unfortunately) and not a “threat” to someone or their relationship. I suppose it is because of my medical problems and the fact that I am getting a bit grey around the edges. It did get me to thinking though about us men and how we react to certain things, and how we behave.
Male comedians like to talk about how simple men are. All you really need to do is feed us, let us sleep, and occasionally give us some “lovin’”. To a point that is true. Most men are simple creatures, with basic primal needs of food, shelter, and sex. Knowing that we are not complicated makes it even more confusing for women.
I think the difference goes back to early human development. Women were the gathers, looking over each berry bush, and all the fruits and veggies to find the best ones for their families. They are and were the ones that took care of the sick and injured. They wailed over the dead. They kept the fire stoked in the hovel or cave. Women are the reason that men are not still living in caves, and why we wear more than a loincloth.
Men on the other hand were the hunters. Seeking out prey, killing it, and bringing it back to hearth and home. Men didn’t have to dally about comparing this wooly mammoth to the one in the next valley. They saw dinner, went after it, and if they survived the hunt, brought home the food. We were in, done, out, and home as quickly as possible. Not unlike a lot young men. If one of the hunting party got gored, they were told to rub dirt in it to stop the bleeding and get back to the hunt. We men folk trudged home with our kill, hoping that our reward for bring home the “bacon” would be a hot meal and a night of hot sex. Again, much like men today.
So back to the question, “Why are men such dogs?” Having owned my share of canine companions over the years, I have realized that dogs, at least real dogs, not the foo foo type dogs that the Paris Hiltons of the world carry in their purses, are simple creatures. All a dog wants is a warm place to sleep. Food on a regular basis. Affection from a loved one (i.e. its owner). And to feel appreciated and loved.
My one-year-old Aussie, Gus, is a great example of the human male – dog comparison. Every day he wakes me by jumping on the bed and either licking my face or pawing at me to get my attention. Unfortunately, he likes to do this around six in the morning when I don’t have to be up for another two hours. He likes to have his morning romp outside with me, running and acting crazed. It is his way of burning off extra energy, and to get me moving. After some exercise, he wants to share a piece of toast with me, and then off to chase a ball through the house. Along the way, he will try to terrorize the cat, but the cat always wins, it’s a claw thing.
Having run out his energy and taken on the cat
several times, Gus will settle down to napping, getting up to eat a bite or two of food, and then back to snoozing. The evenings are a repeat of the morns, with the two of us outside playing fetch or some other game he decides on. The rest of his food is consumed, and after a few more trips outside for “business” he’s ready for bed.
Bedtime has its own routine, me getting myself tucked in, and Gus taking a running jump onto the bed. Depending on what position I lay in determines where he is going to lie. He always settles down at first into my chest area so I can pet him, and scratch his belly. It has been our routine for months, and one I do not see him breaking from any time soon. After ten or fifteen minutes, I have to hide my hands, and he will jump to the other side of me and fall asleep behind my knees.
So, let’s compare. Men like to have a warm place to sleep. Dogs like to have a warm place to sleep. Men like to have food around to eat whenever they are hungry. Dogs like to have food around to eat whenever they are hungry. Men like to play with balls. Dogs like to play with balls. (I won’t venture any further with this particular comparison) Men like to have someone to rub their bellies and scratch their thighs. Dogs like to have someone rub their bellies and scratch their thighs. As we can see, the dog and the man are much alike.
Evolutionist claim that humans descended from lower primates. I think that may be true for female humans. If you watch primates, the females are attentive to the young, carrying their babies, suckling them, grooming them, and protecting them. However, I think the human male must have descended from some primitive canid. Therefore, the answer to the question “Why are men such dogs?” is simple, because we are.